What Makes a Family
I look around the room and see folks not seen since childhood. Cousins, friends, neighbors, and work colleagues line the walls. The mourners speak in hushed tones. Many people grieve, with tear-stained faces, while also displaying smiles of remembrance. The sickeningly sweet scent of flowers lingers as somber organ music fills the parlor.
I am accustomed to the scene. I am the youngest grandchild on this branch of the family tree. My aunts, uncles, and cousins are slowly joining each other in eternal rest. This time is different. I feel the weight of losing my family. Christmas and Thanksgiving gatherings will now consist of only my sister, my mother, and me. My family is disappearing.
A lopsided grin brightens my face as I see our house contractor holding my mother’s hand. Whenever I glance their direction, I see he is a soothing gentle soul. He is my age with both of his parent’s living but has the empathy of a man that knows the pain. He holds her hand for three hours.
I rise when my father’s best man at his wedding, fifty-three years ago, arrives to pay his respects. He is the man in the room that knew my Dad the longest. I greet him knowing he knows the joys, tribulations, and mysteries my father carried. Our families spent many Christmas Eve dinners together. I smile at the memory.
I sit next to the woman who raised me while my mother taught the community youth. The woman who swaddled me when I cried as a baby. The woman who was not afraid to spank me when I was naughty. Her daughters and I fought and loved like sisters. Today she holds my hand. She knows the ache in my heart.
Never leaving my side is my best friend of close to three decades. When the tears slide down my face, she consoles me. She laughs at the memories I tell, keeps me hydrated and fed. She is the one in the room that knows all my secrets.
The organ is played by the show choir director from the high school I attended. I was one of his students for four formative years. He taught me to enunciate, dress to impress, and always be on time. Today he beautifully plays the Carter Family songs I requested.
As my father’s body is laid to rest in its final home, I learn my family is much more than my sister, my mother, and me. I realize at any point in time I have a roomful of neighbors, friends, and work colleagues that are there whenever I need support or have the desire to create a new memory.